My sanity went on summer vacay to the Bahamas and left me work & summer classes in NJ..
Nightmare. Woke up. lol, gonna write up some stuff while I roam online until I'm tired again. lol-
So...
My sincerest apologies to all my RU people for not being online and communicative as I'm sure several have hoped.
Work has been okay. The ladies I work for (Diane, Tina and Janet) are really nice and considerate so I can't ask for much more than that. The commute down to RU is a bitch though. Even worse is the commute back home during rush hour. Because I'm working from UMDNJ payroll over the summer, I had to get the mandatory TB test... which was pretty retarded. The PPD test is essentially, they inject my arm with the liquid so it makes like a little bubble. If I have TB, then the bubble becomes firm and looks like a bug bite. If I don't have TB, there should be no bubble/firmness on my arm. I actually had to goto my doctor's office in the AM and have him check and sign a paper saying I don't have TB... -.- I COULDA TOLD THEM THAT!! >.< Erf. At least I didn't have to pay for the measely injection. But it's dumb... and pointless. lol
The past 2 weeks have been pretty bad as far as my sleeping habits have gone and so, the drive to and from work has been tough. I keep having these nightmares. And because of these vivid and recurring nightmares, I was bugged out every now and then last weekend cuz I'd look over at him do like a wierded out blinky thing and have to come back to reality. And then for a little bit of time, I'd feel wierded and stuff.
Today, though, was nice and sweet and warm and cuddly. Didn't have any wierdness. I did end up mustering bad memories from like a year ago which bugs me a bit, but - whatever. lol- Stumbled across something about 15 minutes ago which was essentially something I would've very much preferred to have lived without. One of those things that, regardless of time frame, would get to me... especially since the timing of it's discovery is uncanny with my recent load of nightmares. lol- I can't do jack-crap about it and neither can he, so guess what? I'm not going to get bajiggity and upset about it and I'm definately not going to place blame on my boyfriend for something held in what I'm assuming is the far, far distant past. I mean, I kind of stared in disbelief and then because I'm me, I just kind of went... "errrr". Just one of those things that a person can do without having seen. It adds to the nightmares. lol- Nightmares, which I'm now positive I'll have again and in more detail, are what I need to realize are just nightmares. I have to take a few breaths, repress and deal with myself cuz I have worse things to piss and moan about. lol- I often wonder how others deal with me... cuz I have problems dealing with myself as we can all plainly see.
On the plus side, I'm slowly, yet steadily learning to shut the hell up and figuring out ways of dealing with things that get to me. But I guess stuff like that is just necessary for me to realize that my life and relationship aren't perfect or even remotely fairytale-like but that's how they have to be in order to be real. I guess the things that bug me out or upset me in the slightest bit are the questions that I realize I have to ask myself and Ryan and ultimately, get an answer to... And answers pending, I guess I have a few things that may or may not be said.
On a relative side note, it's officially my longest relationship thus far; Today marking the 1st day past the 14th month mark. Let the official paranoia and freaking out begin.
Alas, I have been having a quiet and simple, quite routine summer so far. Since I've been home, I've steadily been losing weight which I'm happy about. Apart from those nightmares, my mentality has been more at peace and quieted... though if you catch me during one of those drives to/from work or directly after, I'm more like hell in a handbasket. Of course, as per usual, I continuously look forward to my weekends with Ryan. Hopefully, over the summer, I can make a habit of seeing him twice a week about once a month or so, since I have the car for my use. And on those once a week times, every now and then I can drive up to him ~ that is, once my mom gets the insurance on her minivan.
Speaking of which... my mom got a minivan. lol, My dad got a conversion van. My brother still fails to drive. lol- And the Service Engine Soon light won't go away in my car but my cousin says my car is ok. Ehm... no. The NJ/NY Port Authority is in HUGE trouble with the NJ Turnpike on the day when my car ends up stranded in the middle of the turnpike... lol. They're gonna need to shell out a LOT of money to re-pave. lol...
On a final note, saw Revenge of the Sith with Ryan on Thursday. The theatre wasn't at all packed... it was suprisingly more scarce than I would've expected. The movie was good. I enjoyed it... but then again, I love Star Wars. =D Dialogue... eh. Lucas needs to work on that - but it was good. I liked it.
I'm just about ready to make that attempt at sleepin again. lol-
I hear birds chirping. lol- not good. haha...
Oy. Wanna know something pathetic? lol- It's 3.33am on Sunday morning, I just spent Saturday with Ryan - and I'm already missing him/craving next Saturday... Oof. It's going to be a long week.
So...
My sincerest apologies to all my RU people for not being online and communicative as I'm sure several have hoped.
Work has been okay. The ladies I work for (Diane, Tina and Janet) are really nice and considerate so I can't ask for much more than that. The commute down to RU is a bitch though. Even worse is the commute back home during rush hour. Because I'm working from UMDNJ payroll over the summer, I had to get the mandatory TB test... which was pretty retarded. The PPD test is essentially, they inject my arm with the liquid so it makes like a little bubble. If I have TB, then the bubble becomes firm and looks like a bug bite. If I don't have TB, there should be no bubble/firmness on my arm. I actually had to goto my doctor's office in the AM and have him check and sign a paper saying I don't have TB... -.- I COULDA TOLD THEM THAT!! >.< Erf. At least I didn't have to pay for the measely injection. But it's dumb... and pointless. lol
The past 2 weeks have been pretty bad as far as my sleeping habits have gone and so, the drive to and from work has been tough. I keep having these nightmares. And because of these vivid and recurring nightmares, I was bugged out every now and then last weekend cuz I'd look over at him do like a wierded out blinky thing and have to come back to reality. And then for a little bit of time, I'd feel wierded and stuff.
Today, though, was nice and sweet and warm and cuddly. Didn't have any wierdness. I did end up mustering bad memories from like a year ago which bugs me a bit, but - whatever. lol- Stumbled across something about 15 minutes ago which was essentially something I would've very much preferred to have lived without. One of those things that, regardless of time frame, would get to me... especially since the timing of it's discovery is uncanny with my recent load of nightmares. lol- I can't do jack-crap about it and neither can he, so guess what? I'm not going to get bajiggity and upset about it and I'm definately not going to place blame on my boyfriend for something held in what I'm assuming is the far, far distant past. I mean, I kind of stared in disbelief and then because I'm me, I just kind of went... "errrr". Just one of those things that a person can do without having seen. It adds to the nightmares. lol- Nightmares, which I'm now positive I'll have again and in more detail, are what I need to realize are just nightmares. I have to take a few breaths, repress and deal with myself cuz I have worse things to piss and moan about. lol- I often wonder how others deal with me... cuz I have problems dealing with myself as we can all plainly see.
On the plus side, I'm slowly, yet steadily learning to shut the hell up and figuring out ways of dealing with things that get to me. But I guess stuff like that is just necessary for me to realize that my life and relationship aren't perfect or even remotely fairytale-like but that's how they have to be in order to be real. I guess the things that bug me out or upset me in the slightest bit are the questions that I realize I have to ask myself and Ryan and ultimately, get an answer to... And answers pending, I guess I have a few things that may or may not be said.
On a relative side note, it's officially my longest relationship thus far; Today marking the 1st day past the 14th month mark. Let the official paranoia and freaking out begin.
Alas, I have been having a quiet and simple, quite routine summer so far. Since I've been home, I've steadily been losing weight which I'm happy about. Apart from those nightmares, my mentality has been more at peace and quieted... though if you catch me during one of those drives to/from work or directly after, I'm more like hell in a handbasket. Of course, as per usual, I continuously look forward to my weekends with Ryan. Hopefully, over the summer, I can make a habit of seeing him twice a week about once a month or so, since I have the car for my use. And on those once a week times, every now and then I can drive up to him ~ that is, once my mom gets the insurance on her minivan.
Speaking of which... my mom got a minivan. lol, My dad got a conversion van. My brother still fails to drive. lol- And the Service Engine Soon light won't go away in my car but my cousin says my car is ok. Ehm... no. The NJ/NY Port Authority is in HUGE trouble with the NJ Turnpike on the day when my car ends up stranded in the middle of the turnpike... lol. They're gonna need to shell out a LOT of money to re-pave. lol...
On a final note, saw Revenge of the Sith with Ryan on Thursday. The theatre wasn't at all packed... it was suprisingly more scarce than I would've expected. The movie was good. I enjoyed it... but then again, I love Star Wars. =D Dialogue... eh. Lucas needs to work on that - but it was good. I liked it.
I'm just about ready to make that attempt at sleepin again. lol-
I hear birds chirping. lol- not good. haha...
Oy. Wanna know something pathetic? lol- It's 3.33am on Sunday morning, I just spent Saturday with Ryan - and I'm already missing him/craving next Saturday... Oof. It's going to be a long week.
<< Home